Are you listening to me???

Sometimes I get the feeling people think I don't listen because I talk so much. I try to follow the maxim that you have 2 ears and 1 mouth, you should use them in proportion...

The other day, as I was rushing to get out the door at a specific time, I was told that the only flowers growing on a particular plant in the back yard were some pretty pink ones around the Buddha. I was listening...

Salsa Fresca(aka Light Your World on Fire)

OK I've never done a post like this before, but since I took pictures and I love to make it. The last time I made it was at Captain Rubberlegs'(aka Dr Robot) place up in America's Dairyland for Sunday worship at the NFL altar. That day it was right next to the cheese-dip, both of which were just warm-ups for the beer soaked Brats...

2 Bunches Cilantro
3 Habañeras
3 Jalapeños
1 White Onion
4 Tomatoes

Everything Washed and Cleaned...

2 Bunches Chopped Cilantro...

3 Finely Chopped Habañeras...

3 Finely Chopped Jalapeños...

1 Diced White Onion...

3 Diced Tomatoes...

After Mixing and Adding a 4th Tomato...

Has it been a year already???

Yes, believe it or not it has been just over a year since I started my blog. On average a post every 5 days and 3 pictures a week has been a work of love. I posted 78+ times(the plus is because some posts got merged), and have posted in 10 of the past 13 months. I have posted 129 pictures, and have tried to paint a few of them with my words. I've cried more than once while writing it, and shared some really good times...

A STRONG WORD OF ADVICE(given to me and then later by me): Leave any negativity, directed at individuals you actually know, out of your blog. It can be more hurtful than you know and there is always a good chance something like that will come back to bite you in the ass(life takes lots of funny turns). Burned bridges can be rebuilt, but published words tend to last a long time. Following this advice will also make your memories more pleasant when you read your blog to reminisce in the future...

I have used this blog for those purposes already, and hope to continue to do so. The actual 1 year anniversary fell on June 7th, just a few days before I left for Sydney, Australia. And as it turned out the only pictures I have left from there are the ones I posted on the blog. Nostalgia is just our way of fishing the past out of the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth...

I have been back in AZ for 1 week now and I've been so busy it feels like it's been a couple weeks already. The very first night I was back in town I got picked up at the airport by my friend Dave. We were hanging out playing golf on his PS2 when he asked me when we were going to go fishing. I suggested right then was as good a time as any, so we grabbed our fishing poles, went to the store to get some chicken livers, and walked to the neighborhood lake...

I caught 2 catfish and Dave caught nothing, which is exactly the opposite of how it usually goes with us. Dave took the first picture below with my camera phone, hence the poor quality. He also took the other picture of me with a catfish about 3 years ago one latenight at Kiwanis Park in Tempe. There aren't many things I enjoy more than some quiet time fishing...Latenight Urban Fishing, a nice way to come home...

We were doin' the same stuff 3 years ago...

This past Friday I met with the attorney I am working for this summer. My take was that we hit it off very well, hopefully I'm not too far off base. He is out of town this week, but he gave me some stuff to do while he is gone, and we will get together again next week when he gets back from canyoneering in Utah...

Also on Friday I got an email from Hofstra notifying me that I have been accepted into "The Prosecutors Role" a class where I will prosecute a criminal case from start to finish over the course of a semester. From what I understand it is the other side of what I did in the Criminal Justice Clinic as a public defender...

If you thought my Friday couldn't have gotten any better you'd be wrong. While I was talking on the phone with my dad, after I had talked to my Yiayia, I got a call from a young lady I had been waiting all week to hear from. She was calling to say that she would be free Saturday night...

I had a great weekend up in Phoenix. I went to lunch at Haji-Baba's with my old friend Jess. I also got to visit my good friend Spence and we watched the USA lose 0-3 to the Czech Republic in our World Cup opener. We are down, but not out...

Later I finally tracked down my good friend Jason. It was great to see him, it reminded me that the older we get the more we need the people who knew us when we were young. After visiting with Jason I stopped at "Fake-iberto's"(aka Super Burrito on Scottsdale just south of Thomas) for a Fish Burrito(it was after 1AM). To my delight I discovered they have installed a TV...

This may not seem like a big deal to a lot of people, but I wish I had known it at 6AM Sunday morning so I could have watched the Netherlands game. My dad's house doesn't have cable TV and bars in AZ don't open till 10AM on Sundays. I made sure they watch La Copa Mundial(World Cup) and they are still open 24/7...

So as you can tell life is treating me well. This past couple weeks has been another case of when there is stuff to write about there is no time to write. The last picture below was taken by my mom. It's nothing special just a recent picture of me. My mom says it makes me look like a deer caught in the headlights, I think it's just my usual "I'm about to say something brilliant" look...A Good Lawyer Knows the Law, A Great Lawyer Knows the Judge...

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday...

OK ladies and gents here it is. I am in New Hampshire to say goodbye to my Yiayia(grandmother). She has been diagnosed with Metastatic Bone Cancer and has been told she has somewhere between 1-6 months to live. Being here is not easy and it's really draining me...
My dad has picked up his life and transplanted himself up here from AZ. If it wasn't for him she would most likely have to go to a nursing home. Certainly not the kind of place I would want to spend my last days. I came up here to provide as much emotional and physical support as I can for the entire family...

I count my blessings that at age 30 this will only be the second time I have had to say goodbye to a grandparent. My mother's father passed away when I was 8 or 9 and I was to young to really understand. This is a lot harder, maybe in part because now I have a much better understanding of my own mortality...

I just want to cry, but it doesn't do any good. Right now the tears are welling up in my eyes and making it a little hard to see the screen. As in life though I must forge on because the only other option is to give up. Sometimes I do feel like giving up, I feel like there is no hope. No matter what we do in life it ends the same for all of us...

For a better part of my life I have wondered if I am dead inside because there really doesn't seem to be much that I really care about. Right now though I really do wish I was a little harder or a little more numb, because then maybe this wouldn't hurt so much. Then I look at my dad and I am having trouble understanding how he is not a blubbering mess. I don't want to do this any more it hurts too much. Life would be a lot easier if I really didn't care...

In addition to my grandmother dying my great-uncle Demo had a Stroke on Sunday night and has not been conscious since. I am immeasurably thankful that he came over to visit on Sunday since I hadn't seen him in several years. His 87th birthday is June 9th and his wife Aunt Anna(my Yiayia's sister) passed away 2 1/2 years ago. He has been one of the strongest most independent people you could ever want to meet...
I think the entire family is in agreement that if he would have to spend the rest of his life in an incapacitated state he would probably rather not have to go on. This raises the issue of whether it is better to go slowly like my Yiayia or quick like uncle Demo...

She has the opportunity to say goodbye to everyone and to contemplate her life now that she has reached it's end. He was able-bodied and self sufficient right up till the end. I'm not sure which is worse, maybe neither one of them is preferable and I can just go on living forever...

That line everyone knows about how parting is such "sweet sorrow" is a bunch of crap. Sorrow is not sweet in any way, it's sour, it's painful, and it hurts. I wish I could say I hate you all because then when our times come it wouldn't bother me so much...

We come into this world crying and alone and we leave this world crying and alone. I am trying hard to make the time in between something that won't make me feel alone and like crying. Maybe since I came into the world naked and screaming I can try to go out the same way...

Right now my Yiayia is sitting in her chair behind me and my Papou(grandfather) is feeding her. The two of them have been together almost 56 years. I don't know who I feel sorrier for, her because she is dying or him because he is loosing his life companion. I am tired of being alone, but since like Descartes said the only thing I can be sure of is my own existence I don't think I have much choice...

Right here I was thinking of doing a roll-call of people that I care about, but I think the list would be far too long and of course there would be someone left off the list. So let me just say I love you all and leave it at that...